Emotional level: 5

Mental level: 7

TODAY I LEARNED: Oscar the Grouch used to be orange.

It’s amazing, the things that frighten us. Our fears can turn us into something we never thought we would become. They prance around the edges of our thoughts until they see an opportunity to dive in. But why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we, as humans, afraid of so much?

Are we not allowed to be completely void of fear at all times?

Do we not possess the capability to push through them entirely?

Believe it or not, fear helps us as much as it tortures us. Fear is something we need. It helps us to be thankful for the moments we don’t experience fear. It also helps us to be alert and ready in a primal sense.

Today is the first day of a new self care routine and I can’t help but think about how much fear has played a part in my life. It made me ask the question…how much has fear kept me from doing? I wondered about it for awhile, so I decided to do something about it. Change the way I think, eat, and exercise.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear. Instead, it’s feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It’s moving forward, taking one more step even though you’re shaking in your soul. I feel as though I have forgotten what courage really means. Probably because so many people around me appear as though they aren’t afraid when faced with scary challenges. Also, challenges seem to be presenting themselves in strange ways lately. I have to remember that we all experience fear. We all have something we are afraid of.

I’ve fallen into a darkness that not many people understand. Because, when it comes to emotions and the things we feel when there’s no one around, it’s hard to detail that kind of thing with words.

You can only say or type so much. There really aren’t any words in the human vocabulary that can truly encompass what it means to experience depression or anxiety.

So, from here on out, things will have a new light. You can’t have the good without the bad, and you can’t let fear win. Not when it comes to your life and especially not when it comes to the things you have yet to experience. And what better time to do it than right after Halloween?

This year I didn’t get to do what I wanted for Halloween. Even when it comes to ritual, I didn’t get to complete what I wanted to. But that doesn’t mean that things won’t improve. I know that next year will be even better. Also, the rest of the year has yet to come and I have really great plans for the upcoming months! Hope everyone has a blessed day and hope that Halloween was full of candy and mayhem! May you always be spooky!

Blessed Be )O(