Oddly Me

Emotional level: 8

Mental level: 8

TODAY I LEARNED: There are more fish on earth than there are mammals.

I’ve been exploring past memories today. A dream awakened something that I haven’t felt for quite some time. I’m hesitant to say what because I don’t want to jinx anything, but let’s just say, it’s something I’m very hopeful about.

Before delving into my thoughts, I want to mention that, on my drive to work, there is a house, just to my right, before I get into town, that would look amazing with some Halloween decorations! It’s the type of house you see in movies like Hocus Pocus, (which I still haven’t watched this year, and I NEED to.) I see this house almost every day, but for some reason it stood out to me today.

I don’t know what it is about today…maybe the way autumn has taken hold of my memories. The breeze brings back forgotten people and places like a wondrous fall spirit. Last week I was so focused on letting go, I didn’t give much attention to the energies that were sneaking up behind me. But today…I’m feeling them. They’re all coming back to me in ways I never really imagined. Although it makes me giddy, there are lessons to be learned here.

Places tend to change more than people do. Even still, I can go to that same field I know, bring back old memories, and be considered safe in the moment. But bringing people back into your life can invite danger and terrible tidings. Is it worth the risk?

That’s why I have to be careful with these memories. Do I continue to keep them close to my heart, not even extending a hand to the people that helped make the memories? Perhaps I should embrace them completely. Take a chance and see where it goes. I know one thing for sure, the majority of these memories need to stay where they are; in the past.

But this one little frayed line…why do you linger? Why do I care so much, and why do you keep popping up in my dreams from time to time? I’m often told we hold the answers to questions like this inside our hearts. Sometimes we’re not quite ready to accept them. But I feel as though I’ve accepted all that I can. What else is left? Just when I think the mysteries of life have been severed, they pop back up, causing chaos and disarray. But it’s good chaos, right?

It’s all a part of something bigger. I can feel that much. Maybe it will lead into something wonderful, maybe not. Better just to try.

Jess and I were able to explore a bit of an area we knew very little about this past week. It was so much fun. The vast views off greens, browns, oranges, reds, and yellows. Fall is really coming through. For once I woke up VERY early in the morning. It was a crisp 7am when I stepped out on the balcony. There was a fog settling around me, giving signs that it would soon be slowly drifting away. I had forgotten how peaceful mornings are. It’s so similar to the quiet 3am’s that are so close to my heart. It also made me thankful for things like the sun, hanging so high in the sky, allowing us to live our day to day lives. We really do take such a huge part of our lives for granted.

As much as I love the sun, I love the rain just as much, if not more. Rainy days are the best! Especially during fall! I don’t know what kind of winter we’re going to have this year, but I hope it’s a blizzard of a time! Snow, snow, and more snow!

I think the spirits are always listening…but today they seem to really be attentive.

My goal this week will be to focus on all the good I have in my life. Gratitude goes a very long way.

Life advice: Don’t ever apologize for being “too much.” You’re never too much. You are just right.

Blessed Be )O(