Emotional level: 4

Mental level: 6

TODAY I LEARNED: Humans are bio-luminescent; however, the light isn’t perceptible to the human eye.

The struggle is real today. I’m not sure if it’s the lack of sleep or just the nagging thought that something could go wrong at any moment. When I first started this blog, I had no idea I would be talking about the things I do now. It was just a tool to get my feelings out in the open; a way to keep my overwhelming anxiety in check. Now, it’s turned into something entirely wonderful and I’m glad that so many people can relate. The whole purpose is to get my thoughts out there and hope that it helps at least one person every day. It helps to know that we’re not alone in the world with our feelings. Because being alone with no one to run to…that’s rough. I think that unwanted loneliness is one of the worst things a person can feel. It’s true dread that can torture you when you’re by yourself…

A question was brought to my attention by one of my best friends and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

What is best for us?

Sometimes we think we feel a certain way, then the rocks come tumbling down and all we’re left with is the ruble at the bottom. We sit there, crying, cursing, and wondering what the hell went wrong when truly, we know. Deep down in your heart, somehow you always know. The answer is there like a faint whisper, but sometimes we don’t want to accept it. We don’t always know what’s best for ourselves…but that’s okay. Since we are all human, we often push the bad things we think about ourselves deep into our minds, never to be touched. We even do the same thing with other people and situations. But they’re always there, waiting to resurface at a moment’s notice. You have the answer inside you. It just needs to come out. Sometimes the path gets so jumbled you forget what you were fighting for. If you must, lose your mind for a while. There’s nothing wrong with bouts of insanity, so long as you keep yourself in check. Sometimes it’s needed. Some would beg to differ, but I don’t.

We learn to find ourselves again. But sometimes to find yourself, you need to lose it all…just so you can have it back again.

The absolute damn truth is that we can only try our best. We take all this day by day and keep on moving forward. Because you are living. You have a life. That means purpose exists in your bones, and you owe it to yourself to pursue that purpose in every way possible. Live, talk, love, be human, go on trips, make your work worth it, be who you want to be. Do all the things that make you, you. You don’t have to do something extraordinarily impressive like fly to the moon or become president in order to change the world. You just have to be you and find what it is you really want to do in this life. And you do that by forgetting what the world has taught you to be. One day at a time.

Blessed Be )O(

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