After The Loss

Today I picked up Rumple’s ashes.

I thought I would be able to look at the box without crying, but as soon as the dark brown container was in my hand, all my walls came crumbling down.

I miss him so much.

Isn’t it weird how the world seems to still turn even when your loved ones pass on? You start to wonder how it’s possible for this world to still exist without that soul in physical form.

After I picked up his ashes, I decided to take him on a picnic in the woods. We ate Taco Bell together and I told him about the week I’ve had and how I was barely holding it together even before he passed away.

I sat him on a rock near the water’s edge, imagining him running around near the small rocks tucked neatly in between tree trunks and other rocks. I felt him there.

But the most important part of the day was Rumple teaching me how to live life. I learned something from all this, from him…

Live your life. Learn to embrace that bits of in between and small happenings. They all mean something to you. We are meant for love and life. And loss is a part of that life.

Tomorrow is a new day…another step towards healing.

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