Image via: The Bump sad person holding hand to window and looking at the rain

I’ve Been Struggling

Emotional state: very sad

Mental state: still trying to process everything


So… my mamaw passed away. I’ve been sad, but so have a lot of other people in my family. I feel terrible that it even happened. When you’re growing up, your family and friends always tell you that death is a part of life. It’s something that everyone will go through in time. But that simple fact doesn’t make it better. The person you love is still gone. Their physical form is no longer on this Earth. True… their soul is free now and they no longer have to be in pain, but it still hurts.

Losing someone isn’t easy. We see it in the movies, but never know what it’s really like until it happens in our own lives. We feel that empty tinge. There’s a sorrow that falls over you and it takes its dear sweet time going away. It clings to you like a leach you just can’t get rid of. Then there’s tears…and then more tears. It never feels like it’s going to stop because you keep thinking about it. But you can’t help it because it’s stuck in your brain like glue.

On the bright side, (which is hard to see in times like this), things will get better. Knowing that my grandmother is now pain free and just free in general…I take comfort in that. It’s all going to take some time. The pain won’t always be here and things won’t always seem so gray. Life will get better. After all, she would want us all to keep moving forward and be happy. I know that. But for now, the grieving will pass with time. Each day is a new life and with it comes new experiences and moments of heart.

Imagine that…I’m rambling on about death and living life again. I guess that’s all we’re really doing…living life the best way we know how. Just have to take it day by day…

Blessed Be )O(

One response to “I’ve Been Struggling”

  1. Beautifully written, my former student and friend. So very proud of you. May your heart be eased in pain and love surround you always.


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