Emotional state: happy but sad
Mental state: manageable
I know, it’s been a bit, but I had to sort my thoughts and emotions out. A death in the family can really turn things around in ways you never expect. It brings about feelings you don’t want. The darkness sticks to you like black tar. It feels like you will never be rid of that awful grief. But with time it does fall away. Piece by piece…slowly but surely things start to feel somewhat close to normal. And it gets easier, even if some of it stays with you for the rest of your life.
In all honesty, I don’t handle death very well. In most areas of my life, I can manage pretty well, but when it comes to death, there is just something about it I feel I can’t shake. It does make sense to me. I mean, we are all human, and to be human is to want to keep living. We have natural instincts that keep us from death and yet death is natural. It is a part of life, whether we like it or not. But, at the same time, I’ve always been a big fan of the saying, “death is what gives life meaning.” Something like that really speaks to me. It tells me that there is a purpose for death in more ways than one and it drives us to want to live more.
So, how’s life right now? All in all it’s really good. I should be very thankful for what I have right now. I love my family and friends to pieces; even the ones that have been lost along the way. I set up an altar to honor those who have passed in our lives. It helped me a lot more than I realized. The time is now and I feel like things are back on track. I feel that I’m back in the groove.
Death is inescapable…so we might as well live and that’s exactly what I plan to do. Live. You should too because you’re worth it. 🙂
Blessed Be )O(