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Terrible Two

Emotional level: 7

Mental level: 7

TODAY I LEARNED: Amelia Earhart and Eleanor Roosevelt both snuck out of a White House even, commandeered an airplane, and went on a joyride to Baltimore.

It’s day two of this new self-care journey and damn…I can say this is harder than people even realize. Keeping to a diet and furthering my mental health is no easy feat…especially when you’re trying to do them at the same time.

I have support like my friends and family…but there’s just something about the emotional tide that flows in when you’re alone. Sometimes it feels like you can’t escape it. That, in turn, makes it harder.

Sometimes I wish I possessed the capability and bravery that Amelia Earhart did. She may have disappeared, but she was one of the bravest women to mark the globe. In my opinion, anyway. Is it wrong to think that Amelia’s bravery just doesn’t seem possible in today’s world? She is so close to a storybook character, it’s unreal.

I don’t doubt that she did all the great things she was committed to and that she was a real person, but are we brave like that now? Maybe we’ve all become soft and feeble when it comes to our courage. Like sheep being forced into a pin of comfort and lies. Perhaps the only way to really develop something as brave as Amelia’s wanderlust is to get out there and go for it despite how you feel.

Then again…what’s the point of wanderlust if you lack the funds to travel the world and be who you want to be?

Money sucks when you don’t have enough and yet it’s grand when you have plenty. But we can’t escape it. Not in this lifetime. Sure, you can make more, but then what? Money doesn’t bring happiness, right? So why keep trying to make more? So we can live? Are we really living if we base our lives around money?

Just random questions I thought I would ask that have been floating around in my mind. I miss when things were simple. Money wasn’t an object and the only thing that was on your mind was what you were going to do the next day. Stresses weren’t as high and people didn’t seem to mind conflict as much. I miss those days terribly…

As I said, it’s only day two and I’m trying my best. We shall see how far I can go. I think the hardest part about the diet is the sugar. There’s just something about sugar that’s hard to break. The mental health bit? Well…that’s a work in progress, but I know I will get there. Just trying to think good thoughts. Trying to rewire a few things so my life will improve.

Lately I’ve been very self reflective. My focus has heavily been on my writing and work and because of that, relationships have suffered.

There are things I want to mend…places I want to go and people I want to see. I don’t want to keep wondering what’s out there. I asked myself what I wanted not long ago, and my answer was “to be free.”

I’m sticking with that and I promise to devote enough time to myself and my dreams from now on to make things come to light. Here’s to new goals and going places in life. Love & Light, everyone.

Blessed Be )O(

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